Such an embarrassing shift at work

The bistro I work at was catering for an awards ceremony this evening, so I had to work (helping to set up, serving drinks, clearing away, etc.) - however, the awards ceremony we were catering for was also one that I was due to receive a certificate at. Rather than letting me come and collect my certificate at a later date they made me come out from behind the drinks table and collect it in front of a room full of people.

To add to my embarrassment, they came into the kitchen later on to ask me to be involved in a group photo. Everyone was holding their certificates, but I’d left mine in the locker room and was just stood there looking derpy and empty handed in my work uniform. I looked like I was photobombing SO hard. Ughughugh.

Why do people wish for stupid bullshit, like a ‘zombie apocalypse’?

First of all, it will never happen, but secondly, do you not realise that if that actually did happen you’d die? So would your family. And everyone you care about. 

These kinds of people need counselling. It’s like saying “boy, I sure wish werewolves were real, so one could tear my mother’s throat out”

Not only does it make you sound like a delusional prick it also makes you kind of a morbid asshole.

Edit: If your heart really is still set on being attacked by a zombie, then for a small fee you can come to my house and I’ll bite a chunk out of you. Price varies on how large a piece I bite off.